For today, Lilly has taken over the writing of my blog…..

“okay so listen right? I mean its a super rainy day and me and mommy have nowhere we have to go (at least after coming home from that HORRIBLE target place where I just refuse to be happy even if they give me free cookies), so I just want to chillax and veg-out you know? So I mean what better way to do that than be naked? There is just nothing more comfy than being naked. I think the best part really, is just getting to scratch at my bottom the minute that diaper comes off because I NEVER have access to it and it just plain itches a lot you know what I mean??? Have you ever WORN a diaper? Mom says we don’t have to change it every time I wet it because it has this “absorbent core” they talk about on the package. Whatever that is. But the bottom line is that absorbent or not, it still kind of itches to sit around in a sort of wet diaper all day and now that I have figured out how to take it off myself, I can just scratch to my heart’s content – as long as I can get my pants off first. AHHHHhhhhh”.

“But the problem here, is that this nudity thing seems to be one of those things my mommy really gets a bee in her bonnet about. I really have to work hard to get myself into this naked state, and when I finally succeed at it I have to make sure I stay JUST out of arms reach of her (which has gotten easier because I don’t want to be rude but the woman has just gotten plain FAT lately and it seems to have really slowed her down) or else she forces me back into those horrible things called “clothes” and she especially makes me wear the kind that have these dreaded things called “sleeves”. UGH I HATE SLEEVES! You all feel me on this right? I can’t be alone here…”

“But you know what I do love? I LOVE LOVE LOVE these white shoes that I always see in the back of my closet. They are the cutest! They are so clean and have pretty laces. I really want to wear them and so every time I come across them (and I find them in the weirdest places by the way – almost as if my mommy is intentionally trying to hide them from me), I BEG her to put them on me. But, you know how mommys are am I right? I mean I love mine so much that I never want to leave her side (like ever. I mean EVER), but if you will allow me a minute to complain, she says no to the weirdest things! Why do moms care if you put your finger up the cats nose, or plan to eat only cookies all day? Why is it bad to put my mouth on the shopping cart handle? I just don’t get all that, but anyways she says no to these shoes EVERY TIME I ASK – something about them being “2 sizes too big” or something. Whatever that means.”

“Anyways, this morning I worked for a good 20 minutes to get all my clothes and diaper off, and Mommy must be in a really good mood because she said to me, “you know what kid? You worked so hard for that I don’t have the heart to put your clothes back on you so live it up for awhile until I have to get in the shower”. Then when I brought her the shoes again (cautiously, because I am not sure I trust that she does not have something with sleeves hiding behind her back and this is all just a trick), she said “really? you want to wear JUST shoes? well okay then – its your party!”, and she actually put them on me and tied them for me!!! I was SO EXCITED! I will have to approach her more to ask for things when she is on her hands and knees using that loud vacuum thing to get Molly’s pixos off the carpet, “for the millionth freaking time and I am never buying these again,” as she said. Whatever that means.”

“So of course the main thing I wanted to do while having my naked day of pretty shoes and relaxation is brush my teeth. I LOVE to brush my teeth. My toothpaste tastes really good and you know my Dad is English right? So I have to really be on top of my dental care. I brushed my teeth 4 times this morning because its that important you know.”

“So anyways, eventually mommy had to get in the shower and she told me I had to put a diaper on because I have not pooped in awhile. That’s unfair. I can’t help that! I just really like bananas okay? And I recently starting eating cheese. And both of those things are really binding you know? But whatever, the old lady was being such a peach about letting me wear the shoes that I decided to go ahead and be good about the diaper and just lounge on her bed to watch Dora and read my elmo books and brush my teeth some more while she took her shower. Now on a side note about that shower thing – again I do NOT want to sound like a complainer because I love her so much, but maybe she should do this showering thing a little more often. I’M JUST SAYIN’!!! The funny thing is, I have heard her tell people that she can’t do it as much as she would like because it has something to with me always using the cat bowl to scoop water out of the toilet and pour it on the floor AND some of my other awesome science experiments I entertain myself with while I am waiting for her to get out. Personally, I don’t get the connection but whatever.”

ahhhhh. Fridays are just so relaxing aren't they?

“So that is my story about my naked day of pretty shoes and relaxation. Alas, all good things must come to an end (or so my mommy told me after she tracked me down and put some clothes on me). I totally got the last laugh though because I found some really pretty shoes to wear and my mom seemed bothered that they did not match. See what I mean about her worrying about the weirdest things? They are both sparkly and pretty so WHO CARES? And I don’t want to be a complainer again, but did you notice she put me in TWO things that have sleeves!??? WHAT IS UP WITH THAT!?? She said it had something to do with the fact that its only 45 degrees out today. Whatever that means.”

“Well anyways, its been great chattin’ and I hate to blog and run, but I need to catch up with the latest episode of Mad Men before me and pooh bear head up to bed. So I’ll just talk ta y’alls later! “

- Lilly